What is Normal Anyway?

I was always one of the nerdy and quirky kids in high school. I don't think it improved much when I went to University. My friend and I decided in High School that 'Normal' was an adjustable standard that was purely based on the majority. This meant that maybe we were not 'normal' or 'popular' in the eyes of many people at the school but when we were doing things that we loved, like playing in the band or talking about the latest cool book that we had read within our little group, we were normal. We were the majority and that made us the 'normal' kids.

As an adult I remained on the outskirts of 'normal' but I realized that if I surrounded myself with others who were interested in the same things as I was, who were not carbon copies and challenged my thinking but also made me feel less like an outcast.

Then I had kids and I met Mom's who were really great and we started connecting through stories and some small pieces of shared parenting ideals (although we still varied quite a bit in how we raised our children). After a couple of years I started to have challenges with my youngest at daycare and things at home weren't great. It wasn't long before I found myself a single Mom of 2 kids, one of which had a diagnosis of Autism. I then found that same loneliness of being a bit of an outcast. I didn't have a 'normal' kid and I wasn't in a 'normal' family situation anymore...or at least that's what I though because that was what I had always known.

As I searched for information and began to meet other parents of Autistic children. Other single parents of children with different abilities. I began to realize that even though most people would classify my life as 'atypical' that's not even close to the truth. I am living a 'normal' life for a Mom of an Autistic child. The experiences that I have are similar to those of others, the struggles, the meltdowns, the joys, the triumphs, the isolation and the community. I found the people who were able to make me feel 'normal' again and I appreciate them so much, even though many of them I have never met in person but I will forever be grateful for their stories and for sharing them with the world so that I could find them and find hope. Find my Normal.

I hope that sharing my story and bringing together people with similar stories will help to bridge that gap for someone else and make them feel as though they are not as isolated, give them back that feeling of 'normal' even if it means they are only 'normal' in our small circle. This is an incredibly beautiful and supportive community and I'm so glad that I get to be a part of that and I have my incredible children to thank for allowing me to be a part of their journey and those of so many other families who are also in our special needs community. I love you all and am here to support you, wherever you are on your journey.

Photo credit: Helena Lopes