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Are Your Children Having Difficulty At School?
I Get Your Struggle
Traditional school is just that, traditional. It's what's been done for years and it will continue to be the way for years to come. But, if we have learned anything in the last few years, I hope it is that what was considered 'best practice' is not always what's best for the people we are practicing on.
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This applies to so many things, schools included (maybe especially). Before we get too far in, this is not about teachers or administrators specifically but the construct of school as it currently exists. They are working within the confines of a system that has existed long before any of us. It was something that I had never even given a lot of thought to...until I had kids who struggled with school.
Let us take a critical look at the structure that exists and how we might benefit both children and our community by changing the way we educate children.
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Clinical researchers have shown repeatedly that children, adolescents and even adults who have helpless feelings associated with an external locus of control are predisposed to anxiety and depression. To say it another way, people who feel that they don't have control over their own lives are more likely to develop anxiety and depression.
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It has also been noted that since the 1950's the US suicide rate for children under age 15 has quadrupled and for people aged 15-24 has more than doubled. In the same time period suicide rates for adults ages 25-40 and over 40 actually decreased. This is incredibly alarming! So, what is happening? There seems to be a kind of 2-fold trend in this. In part, parents are taking less risk and allowing children much less freedom than before the 1950's. Some of this is due to increased news and media sources that can broadcast all the terrible things happening to children now so the likelihood of it happening and our ability to hear about it is out of proportion. Secondly, and, part and parcel with the first, is that school demands have grown along with adult control of recreation (competitive youth sports, camps, classes, structured play dates).
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We do these things because we are told that it's in their best interest and we are lead to believe that this structure is imperative for children to develop properly. The community often attempts to guilt parents who don't choose this for their children and victimize parents who's children are unable to participate. Historically, Children have developed just fine. We have survived as a species this long with little to no interferences from adults. we are biologically and evolutionarily designed to 'play' at the things that will help us develop the skills necessary to survive and thrive in our own environments. We know this and yet we have slowly but surely been discouraging this free play and reinforcing competition and hierarchy. Children are required to meet certain criteria and therefore are subject to early and constant evaluation which has many of its own complications.
One of the many implications of compulsory education is that children either don't develop, or they lose any genuine interests that they might have, which leads to an overall loss of enjoyment in life. Also, and maybe even more importantly, is the system that depends on constant monitoring and evaluation also teaches our children that some people are better than others. The ranking is said to help motivate children to complete their school work and learn the material but in reality it can lead to feelings of pride and superiority in those who rank highly and even more often leads to feelings of inferiority and shame in those that don't perform so well. On top of the system the adults in these children's lives often prescribe things like detention, homework, remedial classes and medications for those who don't do well, which is even more damaging for the student.
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We have developed a system where children are trained, like animals, to comply with adult demands. Those that we think will be most beneficial for them in the long run. If we stop to think about it, is this really and truly the best for our children? Does it have their physical, mental and emotional wellbeing at the forefront? Does it celebrate their unique talents and gifts? From my experience and research the answer is No, no and no.
What it does is satisfy the adults need to be in control. I know this is going to be hard, it was for me too (and really still is some days). If what we have always done and been told is the best way is discovered to not be the best way. What do we do now?
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This is a 2-part answer because not everything will fit for each child. We also still have to remember that children do need some degree of supervision and guidance and to learn skills from trusted adults. We also live in a society where most families need 2 incomes to live. So how do we solve this problem.
Part 1 is to allow children some freedoms to choose activities that peak their interest and will foster their natural curiosity and drive to learn. There are many alternative schools that do just that and have fostered the growth and development of many very successful individuals over the last few decades. One such school is the Sudbury Valley School where freedom is paramount. There, 75% of the graduates even chose to go on to continued, formal, education and were quite successful at meeting the demands of a college or university setting.
Part 2 is to take the freedom of choice of an alternative school and build in opportunities to help the students who express challenging behaviours to learn the skills they require to be more flexible, handle frustration and other big emotions, problem solve independently and collaboratively and to express their needs in a successful way. We can do this by using the Collaborative and Proactive Solutions (CPS) model developed by Dr. Ross Greene where adults and children work together to find mutually satisfactory solutions to challenges that are causing challenging behaviour.
Studies of implementing the CPS model have shown that it reduces behaviours as well as costs of special education, referrals to special education, the use of suspension, detention and expulsion, the use of restraint and seclusion and the placement of kids in programs outside of their home schools.
In both of these instances the child is at the focus and as adults we are merely assisting them to develop into the incredible, talented, curious and responsible people that they are on the inside.
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