Are you living someone else's life?

I have been exhausted lately, sometimes to the point of wanting to sleep a lot and not really do the things that I thought I should be doing during the day (this list is probably too long as it is, but that's another discussion!) and if I'm feeling exhausted my guess is that some of you are too.

I could easily live in this state for a while since there aren't a lot of other social demands for my time but to tell you the truth, I don't really like feeling tired and relying on caffeine to keep me somewhat alert during the day. So I went on a mission to find out what was going on and if I could change anything to make life a little more enjoyable and have some more energy.

The first thing that I noticed was that we are in a change of seasons, daylight savings time is switching again so that it gets darker earlier in the evening now and animals are getting ready for hibernation. This is a time when we naturally start to slow down and it's more noticeable after the high energy season of summer. Okay so checkpoint #1...this is normal.

Being a parent in this age of 'real school' vs 'online school' vs 'homeschool' is tough and I went from being a mostly work outside of the home to mostly work from home and now am a homeschool teacher for one of my kids while the other attends 'real school' has been it's own challenge. I have tried all of the school options since September for my now homeschooled child and we are just starting to find our groove in the homeschool world. This full time parent/caregiver/teacher role sure doesn't leave a lot of time to do things just for me and the mental load can be exhausting. So what was I doing about it?

Of course I was taking everything that I've read over the past few years from all the Guru's on energy production, motivation, high performance and self care. You name it, I read it and tried to put it into action. So here's what it was looking like:

1. wake up early (before 5am)

2. Get my workout cloths on and RUN! (or bike or lift weights...you get the idea)

3. meditate and/or journal

4. shower

5. be annoyed when my kids woke up and interrupted this golden formula for a better, more productive and energized life.

Oh ya, and I was trying to fit in self-care activities, fast intermittently and eat healthy foods, read daily and go to bed early.

Don't forget to check in with family and friends, spend time alone and with your partner, make sure your kids get enough attention.

I was spending most of my day helping someone else, making food or following some magical ritual that was not getting me the results I wanted. I was still not getting the focused, centered, highly productive day that I was searching for so what was I doing wrong?

In the last few weeks I have been doing a lot of reflexion. I took a pause on my golden ticket morning routine and looked at what I actually needed.

First, I do need to get up early because I find it stressful when my kids wake me up and that always makes me start my day off on the wrong foot. I find it really difficult to come back from a morning that starts off poorly.

Second, I need to move my body but I don't always need to go all out in the same way. So I traded in some intense cardio for a yoga session so I can stretch my body and clear my mind.

Third, the best thing I have found to combat anxious feelings is to get grounded. Connect my energy to the earth. So now I will do a short meditation or smudging before I start my day. I usually start with this so that I'm sure I can fit it in before anyone else wakes up. I can fit my workout later if I have to but I won't get the peaceful morning quiet later in the day.

There are still days when this doesn't happen but on the days that I can start my morning in this way makes a huge difference in my ability to handle challenges and cope with my day to day stressors.

How are you starting your morning? Is it helping you or stressing you out?